The Pathfinder
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
  More Doubts
So MBA could be either two years, or at the best, one year...
One friend raised up the concern that if you have what you want to do already. You have a position in Asia, where many others desire so much, is it worth it to jump outside the circle? When you return, would you still have that job or would you be once again hunting and perhaps desperate?
I don't know. B-school is all so expensive, and it's under the premise that you get in. How can I stand out and be able to make the right choice in life?
One thing that makes it easier is that I am single, unattached. Why I am still like this I am not entirely sure. I tried asking my long-time friend last night if there is something wrong with me. Am I giving off the image that I am not interested in relationship, am I too shy? How come as others go on and experience love and life, I get stuck with only relationships that lead nowhere?
It looks like if I am to study for the GMAT, I'd have to complete my application essays in second round.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
  Essays of life
So it's already been a week since I created my blog last week. Not bad I suppose. I am more determined to try to give the MBA schools a shot now. It is now or never. No other time in my life will I have the luxury of studying for the GMAT and read over application essays again. I hope I will enjoy all this pondering about my life, to connect the seemingly random dots and head toward a path that I should supposedly design for myself right now.

After much digging in my innermost thoughts, I purchased this book called "65 Harvard Business School application essays" this weekend. The samples there have been quite helpful to get my thoughts flowing. I have considered asking a few of my MBA friends to share their essays wth me, but I guess it is quite personal thing, so I didn't really feel comfortable asking. Instead, I asked two Business School journal writers for theirs. I am not sure if they would respond.. I suppose that response rate may be even lower than someone I know.

Taking the Kaplan Diagnostic Test again, I got a 680. This is not bad to me. I hope that I can take more practice tests and get my score above 700. Been reading lots of Businessweek forum chats at work lately. I feel that there are all these people whose whole lives seemed to be geared toward business school. All the international applicants get such high GMAT scores especially. It's hard to compete with the Indian IT guys. Hopefully I'll be unique enough in the applicant pool to get me a seat. A two-year hiatus from the real working world would be much needed. I probably won't get that again until retirement. So even with all the debt I think it's still worth it.

So for first round, I hope to apply to Columbia, Stanford, and INSEAD. Second round I will probably aim for Berkeley Haas and UCLA. I considered Chicago and Northwestern. But gosh, they are just so damn cold in the winter. I may still give Kellogg a thought, although their stat shows that 40% of the students are married. Living in a Chicago suburb with all these married people for two years.. hmm.. may not be the best thing. But maybe I'm just thinking too much.

My plan to go back to the US for a vacation is now getting postponed. I have not been back for an entire 8 months now. That really flew by.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
  First day blogging
Today is the first day I am blogging. I have decided to finally apply to buisness school this year after four years of putting the thought at the back burner of the mind. The idea has always simmered, yet I never could actually set myself down, brush away all the insecurity, and face the application process despite my strong fear of rejection.

This weekend I have throught it through. It's now or probably never. Life is short and it slips away when you are trying to make plans. I am hoping to make this site anonymous, through which I can connect with fellow bloggers, friends who I can share my joy and commiserate my misfortunes with. Business school application can be a very solitary, stressful, and intense experience, and I hope this blog can shape my thoughts, record my journey, and provide a cathartic channel for my all too mixed emotions.

Here is a bit of a background on me. I graduated four years ago from Stanford. This I guess should be one of my assets. I am a girl in Engineering, maybe that helps too? I have worked in the financial sector in San Francisco, and have moved to Hong Kong about a year back to be a part of the Asian economic participant. I suppose my life is on track as it is. I am at a place where I want to be. I am learning tons, including a new language, a new culture. Business school, if it is seen as a vehicle to another destination, doesn't make too much sense. Yet that idea that has been sitting in the back burner of my life plans keep whispering to my heart. It wants a life; it wants to be set free and tested. I want to see and meet people and travel the world, so that in the end, I won't regret not being determined enough to at least give myself that chance in my late 20's to stretch myself a little bit. Call me impractical, I also find the idea of taking two years to explore myself and be in debt refreshing. I have the rest of my life to make a mark in the world. Why not make those footprints even deeper and made with more conviction?

So here it goes. I want to finish a few applications by Round 1, which leaves me with only a month and a half. I also would like to take the GMAT again at that point. My last score was 660, which is not going to make up for my rather low GPA. I am not sure if second time around would help, but at least I should give it a shot. The schools that I would really love to go is Stanford and Insead. Going back to Stanford is going to be hard, especially considering that I have already attended the school for my undergraduate and didn't make a strong mark anywhere. Yet I miss the Bay Area sunshine, the creative people, and the palm trees lined up along the street. Insead would be a more refreshing experience, living in the castles in southern France would offer me a European experience. I may not ever get that chance to live extensively there again. Of course, while I am at it, I am also considering Kellogg, Berkeley, UCLA, and maybe Columbia. I need to narrow down my choices. So the journey begins..

August 2005 /

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